Waiting

'Tis the season to wait. People wait. Some are good at it. Some are not. I am not. Is it a skill? Are there any strategies that can be taught to acquire how to wait?  I don't know but what I do know is what I do when I wait. 

I do the laundry in my home. Living in the city we do not have a washer/dryer in our apartment so I take our clothes to a laundromat. While I sit and wait for the clothes I write my blog, finish teacher evaluations, or prepare lessons for my religious education class. I write. 

Traveling in the city can be stressful especially this time of year. The hustle and bustle of everday life is amplified with holiday shopping. The cars, buses, and trucks congest streets and main thouroughfares; it can get very hectic. You could sit in traffic for a long time. This kind of waiting drives me nuts. If I don't have my wife or a friend to talk to I play uplifting music or begin making phone calls. Waiting in traffic. Ugh! 

So, why not take the subway? Yes! The NYC subway system is one of the best in the world. Here again, waiting for a train during this season can be a great challenge too. Again, uplifting or reflective music helps me. I also write as I wait for the train. Or, I pick up and read the news. 

There's something that can fill up my time: the news. And when I read it its filled with reality star news, scandals, election stuff, and gun violence. GUN VIOLENCE. Here is another anomaly of our society that is mixed with politics, emotions, points of view, facts and opinions. Despite all the hortific attacks and senseless deaths of people (who remembers Sandy Hook Elementary and Columbine and ... and ... and ... ) It just keeps going and going. We are all waiting, again and again, for this change to come and for an end to all this violence. We have to wait?  We have to wait! 

I can't make sense if it sometimes. There have been times in my life that I've tried to skip the waiting by fast forwarding my day via binge drinking, eating and dulling the senses. I've acted like a maniac on the road and run red lights to avoid being in traffic. I've avoided chores until they either stink up my home or hit my wallet with heavy fines and late fees. 

Even when I have been stricken ill I have had to wait. Recently, I had severe abdominal pains so I decided to go to my local hospital. Knowing that it renovated its ER for adults I decided to give it a shot. BIG MISTAKE. Not only did they have me waiting over two hours, but people were strewn on gurneys, chairs and what not all over the place. It looked like a field hospital. It wasn't scary or crazy. It was pornographic!  Yes! Outrageous that people in this zip code had to be treated so poorly for medical attention. After two hours, my wife found me keeled over a chair throwing up.  I faced a wall next to medical supplies  and was told to sit and wait. Great!  What do you do to wait when you are sick?  Leave and go to another emergency room!  I fled that hospital like the plague. Turns out I crossed the Hudson River into New Jersey six miles from my home and got immediate attention. They diagnosed me with appendicitis. I could have died waiting. That's a new one to add to the list!

My only solace and comfort during this time of year THIS year has been my morning prayers. I don't know if its sleep apnea or an incipient disease (male menopause?) but I get up almost every morning at 4:00 a.m. Being the spiritual person that I am I tend to look at this as a time to catch up on my prayers. And this has been a real gift this season. 

Not only are my relationships, personal and profesional, improved and healthier, but I am loving myself more. I give myself credit for what I have accomplsihed, am doing and plan to do. I am reminding myself to listen more, be patient with others, and listen. I am also writing during this time of prayer and reflection. 

Waiting during this season can be hectic, stressfull and produce lots of anxiety. Yet, I have recieved a beautiful gift that has made me rejoice in many ways. Despite the challenges of daily life as a husband, father, educator, and catechist (religious education teacher), God has shown me in these very challenges how to wait and that after the waiting the best is His gift of love. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all. 

Same Old Shoes

I can always count on a pair of old brown shoes I have.  They go well with my khakis and blue or white shirts.  My favorite navy blue suit is also a great match with these shoes.  What makes them so special is the soft leather and deep brown classic professional look.  Despite costing me $175 when I purchased them, I can't seem to get rid of them.  I've changed the sole only once in 8 years!

Putting them on after summer vacation ... that's right when school is not in session it means administrators can wear shorts and sneakers ... I started thinking about how educators tend to stay with what they know.  The safe.  The secure.  The same old "tricks of the trade" or the same instructional strategies.

How difficult is it for us educators to get rid of something?  If its a book, a tool, a piece of furniture or perhaps a way of thinking or doing.  We don't like throwing things away.  It's not in our nature.

I guess the same goes for our approach towards students.  At the beginning of every school year we all put our best uniforms or outfits (including shoes!).  By the end of the year we are broken in and in some cases, feel worn out.  There is value in a solid piece of furniture like a stool, a chair, an easel.  The same for an effective strategy.

But what happens when that old reliable strategy or tool is no longer effective?  How do we know when to stop using it?  How do we know its time to do something else?  How long does it take for us to notice that we are not effective?  What do we do to prepare ourselves?  Or do we wait for a superior to tell us via a walkthrough?  Or after a formal evaluation?  Or after a summative assessment?  Or perhaps it takes an irate parent for us to gain a new awareness? What has to happen for us to try something new?

Some of us can't resist peeking at our new students files before school starts.  We want to be prepared and not taken by surprise.  Many refuse to take on new challenges and risks because it forces us to grow.  It forces us to feel insecure, uncomfortable, and go beyond what we know and into the unknown.  Or maybe we do not "step up" because we are afraid to fail.

Looking again at my old pair of shoes, I am struck at how good they look.  Then I am forced to look again, and closer, and I have to admit that they also look a bit battered and worn.  Soon I will purchase a new pair because my feet will beg me for a "new" comfort and stability. This pair will one day run its course.

Soon a student, a class, a parent or some other stakeholder will compel us to change our strategy, our approach, our mindset.  We can only "walk" in the old but comfortable shoes for so long.  Waiting will only delay the inevitable.  Why not prepare to walk in a new pair?  Your feet will surprise you where they might lead you.