My Holiday Plan

Its a busy time. The holidays evoke in me many feelings of nostalgia, joy, sadness, nervousness among others. Its also flu season and children and adults get sick and they pass it along. As an educator, I need to be wise, keep watch and stick to things that help me stay happy and healthy. 

Here is my holiday plan:

Mangu (Dominican breakfast)

1. Listen to my body. If I am hungry I will eat. If I am tired, I rest. If I am sick, I will take the day off to recover.  If I need to move, I will dance and/or exercise.  I must take care of myself so I can be effective everyday. 

2. Watch what I watch. Along with "fake" news and silly distractions on social media, I need to be wise to monitor where and how I spend my time. With so many demands, I can't participate in every chat or click on every app and connect. I will make the time when I can but I watch what I watch. I am better because of it. 

Looking up from my school.

3. Stay there. If someone or something inspires me to create or make something better, I will stay there. "Staying there" means doing that one thing to make me better before I move on. Too many times I race to do and then rush to tell everyone what I did. I've discovered that I miss the benefits of enjoying what I did if I rush. I have to stay there.  

Paper cups

4. Look for opportunities to just be. A student in my school was carried out of his classroom by security and brought to my office. He was upset. I distracted him and invited him to share what he had in his hands. He had paper cups. I asked him to show me how to make paper cups. We spent the entire afternoon talking and I learned something new. I entered "his" world and learned. Students have lots of knowledge and skills. Sometimes schools force lectures, books and classwork on kids and they respond by acting up. Sometimes they protest in many ways. Other times they protest and need to be carried out like this boy. I took this opportunity to listen and just be with this boy. I didn't judge him.  I am better for it and now he sees me as an ally to share and create things with. 

Candy Cane House 

5. Take notice. There are lots of great things that happen in my school (I bet in yours too). Despite the negativity and criticism out there, every school has great teachers doing their jobs to help students learn. I take notice of these positive incidents and learnings in my school on a daily basis in three ways:

1. I walk my school everyday.  I want to know what is happening so I walk into every classroom at least once a day. Everyday.

2. I talk with students and teachers and take pictures of these moments.  

3. Then, I write about it (not as often as I wish).  I don't publish a lot but I do tweet via my twiitter account or my school Grieco School. 

Finally, I met with a teacher earlier in December to discuss her formal observation. As we finished, she shared how she got together with teachers from her grade during lunch to discuss specific needs and goals they had. My interest peaked and was almost jealous I wasn't invited. I told her to write about how that meeting was initiated.  She told me it grew out of an email between her and another member of the grade level. I pushed her to write about it because it was a moment of importance for that teacher and team.  I took note to listen for this moment and compelled one teacher to take note also.  

The holidays are a great time to stop and reflect on what we do and how we do it.  Our lives, family, and schools will be better when we do so.

How do you keep happy and healthy during the holidays while staying focused on your work?  

Share your comments!  I am interested in learning from you.

The Gift of Tears

Boys don’t cry. I was raised with this mindset. As a young boy, I always heard my mother tell a story of how my older brother was bullied in the third grade. She saw him cry and forced him to go back to the school and fight the bully. He did and he won. I never saw my brother cry while I was a kid or as a young man. By the way, my father wasn’t around long enough for me to see much of anything let alone him show this kind of emotion.  The only time I saw my brother cry was when I entered the Jesuit novitiate in 1998.

Having made the decision to discern God’s calling, men who identify with the charism of St. Ignatius of Loyola, apply and get accepted into a two year, let’s call it, training period. Here they live, pray and serve while they see how God’s graces develop in their lives. Men enter a novitiate to see if this new lifestyle of serving God and others and living in community is for them. Men focus on things that bring them closer to God and  detach from worldly things.

Hearing that we would not be able to see one another until Christmas my family grew sad. But it was my brother’s reaction that surprised us all. He cried.

My brother David and I.

My brother was the father figure of the family and my role model, this was a big deal that he cried. My mother and sister were shocked. I too was surprised but I knew something greater was at work here and I was at peace because of it.

My three sons: Matthew, Elijah and Jacob.

Boys don’t have to see men in their lives cry to cry. They don’t have to see crying to feel or be sympathetic. They do need to know that feeling sadness, remorse may produce tears.  What boys need to know is that showing these feelings is normal and healthy. Having an adult help them through these emotions is what is most important.

Since we never had that kind of support growing up, my brother took one road and I took another. You already know his. Mine was different. It was in prayer that I discovered it was perfectly normal to shed tears. Having a lot of anger and resentment, I had a lot to work through. Yet, it was in spiritual direction that I discovered that the gift of tears is a way that God heals. It is a way that God helps a person deepen the relationship with Him and others.

Why tears?  Not only is it a result of feelings but it provides a comfort of whatever pain or healing that needs to be experienced.  There is also an awe and wonder aspect of deep and intimate prayer. A new awareness or a deeper awareness of oneself may result. The recognition of that awareness may also produce tears.

Biking is a new form of prayer experience for me.

That’s the gift. The gift to see yourself in a new light, in a new way, different than before. That gift is what keeps one going back, back to that special place where you can be with God.

Saint Teresa of Avila was noted to have said that more tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones. During prayer, I don’t wish to produce tears. It happens when it happens. I know it’s real because I enter prayer for different reasons. Desiring to cry is certainly not one of them.  I just wish to encounter God. Period. That encounter involves many things like ideas, images, emotions and sometimes … tears.

I thank God for my brother David Alarcon.

I thank God for my spiritual director, Claudio Burgaleta, SJ.

I thank God for answered prayers.

I thank God for the gift of tears.

Amen.

How Educators Build Walls and Bridges in Schools

Being an educator today requires a lot of training, skill and experience. It also includes knowing about people, having relational skills, and effective communication. Planning, preparation and time management play a big part in the life of any educator. Then, more time is spent inspiring children and reassuring parents that their child can reach specific academic, social and emotional goals. In all of this work, educators constantly build walls and bridges in schools. 

Educators Build Walls When They ...

1. Fail to listen to others, especially to those they serve like children, parents and those they work with. 

2. Think they can "teach" alone and do not need to collaborate with their colleagues. 

3. Stay in their comfort zone and do not take risks. 

4. Excuse not doing something on not having enough time. 

5. Use "if only" a lot. 

6. Exhibit an "I taught it and they didn't learn it" attitude. 

7. Offer after school solutions to "in class time" problems they can only solve. 

8. Lay all the blame on parents. 

9. Refuse to learn another language even though it might help them communicate with their students or parents better. 

10. Wait for "Superman" or "Superwoman" to change state, district or school policies and programs. 

Educators Build Bridges When ...

1. They listen more without judgment.

2. Rely on colleagues for answers, feedback and ideas. 

3. Create their own PLNs (Professional Learning Networks) because they need it, not because they were mandated by an administrator. 

4. Take risks and fail a lot. They are not afraid to learn and fail because they are life-long learners. 

5. Never waste their time comparing or criticizing their students, classrooms, and instructional practices. They use the time they have and keep it moving. 

6. Ask themselves: "What do I do now with my students who did NOT learn? What do I do with those students who DID learn?" 

7. Know their students and what they need and provide it to them during class time because they rely on data and best practices. 

8. Help educate parents via ideas and best practices so they can support their child at home. 

9. Find ways to communicate with their parents in their native language. 

10. Show up and do the work. Yep, you see it in all they do and in their students. 

There are lots of "walls and bridges" in our schools for many reasons. My purpose as an educator is to focus on learning, ask questions, listen more, help find solutions, and create a positive and collaborative work environment.  My  purpose is to also involve and help others do the same.

The school year is in full swing now.  Ask yourself:

How do I build (or tear down) walls in my classroom or school? 

How do I build bridges? 

Hoping your school year is filled with much learning and success for all. 

I would love to hear your thoughts and comments.  If you have any suggested readings, blogs or authors to follow, let me know.  

5 Things Catechists Should Try This New School Year

Every year around this time I am praying and thinking about what I am going to teach my students at Sunday School. I think a lot more on how I am going to teach them. After 10 years of serving as a catechist at my local parish of St. Elizabeth of Hungary in Washington Heights, NYC, I realized that there is NO WAY I am going to teach 2,000 years of church history, christology, mystagogy, theology and all the other “ologies” out there. It would be Mission Impossible and I am in no way Tom Cruise on a motorcycle. Besides, the students would hate me and so would the parents. 

It’s not my purpose as a catechist to teach so much and it would be best to remember that there are 5 simple things that catechists can do for a successful and grace-filled year. 

1. Never start your class with prayer. 

This may be shocking as you read it but I am serious. I used to begin with a “Good morning” and quickly get a candle, stand in the front of the classroom and have my students stand and pray with me. It was rote and I noticed that many of the children got nothing out of it. Why? Because it was stale, mechanical and not real. There is nothing wrong with the Our Father or the Hail Mary but I was causing more damage than good. Another thing was that since I had to be on time, prayer started as soon as I arrived. Therefore, tardy students missed the opening prayer. I also discovered that these same students had problems with homework, attendance, and everything else. 

Changing my class routine helped students 100%. Instead of beginning with prayer, I started with a Do Now. All students in NYC public schools know that as soon as they enter their class, there is a task on the board for them to complete. It is usually a 3-5 minute pen/pencil to paper activity. 

Well, I took that same idea and used it to prepare my students for my class. For example, some of my DO Now’s include: 

• A Bible verse 
• Look at the picture and react to it.  What happened before? What do you think will happen next? 
• An object 
• A song 
• Write a prayer 

The Do Now is usually followed with a question that students can answer. In other words, it’s a way to prepare the class for the class. It helps get them focused and centered on the topic of the day and it helps me get to know them a little better. I also have information and a piece of work that they created. Now I can point to something of what they know and what they do not know. During this time, I am taking attendance, looking over my notes or lesson plan for the day, and of course, greeting those late arrivals. 

Again, it may seem different and go against your own beliefs on how to begin your Sunday School class, but I urge you to take a risk. Don’t start with a prayer and see what happens. If you prepare your students with a Do Now, they will be focused, produce some written work that you can view, and will give those latecomers some leeway. I believe this last point is important to clarify. 

As catechists, we don’t know where and how these children live or if they even ate or slept well. We don’t even know if they pray or attend mass with their families. Therefore, if prayer is important, I mean really, really important, why would it be the first thing I would do knowing that the kids who really need it most would miss it? My guess is that there are several students who need to see, hear, say, and feel the opening prayer of your class. That is why a catechist should never begin their class with prayer. Do it after the Do Now. 

2. If it doesn’t help increase their faith, then stop doing it. 

I recall teaching my students the Liturgical Year and comparing it with other calendars. They listened and were very respectful. They even drew beautiful calendars. However, I found that it was not moving them closer to increasing their faith. I stopped teaching it. I decided that I would begin with prayer and end with it. Sure, I covered the reasons people prepare for Confirmation, the 7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit and other topics. Yet, nothing was more important than sharing with students what is prayer and how to express your faith. 

In most schools, teachers teach reading by explaining how to read, how to decode, sounds and letters, and using effective strategies to gain comprehension. Teachers also model reading to train the ear for fluency and emotion. Then, students practice reading on their own. 

One of the main jobs of a catechist is to teach what is prayer and how to pray. Encountering God may be done in many ways but the most simplest and effective ways is through prayer. Students must be exposed not to the prayers themselves, that is simple and basic. They do not need a catechist to tell them the prayers. What they need is a catechist to show them how it can be used to increase their faith. Students need to see a real life example of an adult who prays and can witness to them the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

3. Talk less and listen more. 

I read somewhere a saying that goes, “Whomever does the most talking is probably doing the most learning.” 

Catechists love sharing their faith and what they know. It’s a calling and many do it with the right intentions. Yet, many do not do it well because they are the ones who do the most talking. 

Catechists are called to model Jesus in many ways. One way is listening to their students to see what they know and do not know. If the catechist is the one who always talks more than students then the catechist creates an environment that says student talk is not important, catechist talk is. 

Take a risk this year and monitor who talks more in your Sunday school class: the adult or the children? You will be surprised at what you find. You will be surprised even more at the result if you listen more. 

4. Walk around as you teach. 

Jesus walked a lot. From town to town, he walked, talked and met many people. He was not stationary. He knew his mission and did it no matter the cost. 

Effective catechists do the same. Sitting or standing in one place will only keep you far away from the action of teaching and learning. Walking around the class allows you to see and hear more. 

For example, I give students a question and then ask them to think about what they will say and then ask them to turn and share their response with the student next to them. 

I take this time to walk and listen to what and how my students share. As they talk, I listen and sometimes I ask them about each other’s responses. This turn and share allows then to get to know each other and learn how to share. Students learn from one another more than we think. 

5. Echo the Good News: Jesus Christ. 

The word catechist means “echo” in the Greek language. Our job is to help students have an encounter with Jesus. 

Catechists can do this in many ways: 

Bible - there are many examples where Jesus is in action showing love, mercy, and forgiveness. He also heals, preaches and uses many parables that are applicable for teens today. Know what your students need and use the Gospel to reveal Christ Jesus. 

Prayer - give your students time to pray in class. You will see the beauty of their hearts as they write what they feel, want, and know. Help them discover that prayer in class can be uplifting, fruitful, and a wonderful opportunity to learn from God and one another. 

Talks - guest speakers that are inspiring are great additions to any class. Parents, religious, married couples, and even teens can inspire and uplift a group of students who want to know about their faith. It is also a sign of effective class management and planning. 

Retreats - half day, full day or weekends, it doesn’t matter. Students, when ready, need to know how to “retreat from” or leave behind what and who they know and have an encounter with God at least once a year. It will enhance their lives and learning experience. 

Images - a picture is worth a thousand words. Yep, so use them often and wisely. 

Video - with so much to cover, have effective and uplifting videos with messages that will stick in your students’ minds and hearts, ready at all times. 

Service projects - with the proper planning and preparations, catechists would do well to commit to an annual service project that helps students use their time and talents to help others. After the project is completed, celebrate and reflect on what students learned. 

Finally, catechists “echo” the Good News with their own lives. Model the with your example and you will help student believe. 

Have a great year and congratulations! 

You have embarked on a journey similar to those first disciples found in The Gospel of Luke 5:1-11. 

Amen.

Yes, Even on Social Media

I have been on Twitter since 2008. Like others, I've tweeted about education, sports, news, and politics. I never thought I'd tweet about God let alone lead a discussion. (Oops! It's called a chat with a hash tag.) My debut came on August 4 when I moderated #ChristianEducators. I have never seen a powerful moment online where people gathered to share and grow in their faith.

I am Abe and am blessed to lead you tonight! #ChristianEducators

— Abe Alarcon (@abealarcon) August 5, 2016

Having been part of this group for a year or so I noticed that it was a special place to join and express what was in my heart: a deep desire to share my faith with others for 60 minutes via tweets full of inspiring words and visuals every Thursday night.  I also discovered others with the same desire.

This past June, I was saddened to find out that the group stopped meeting. Summer vacation will compel many groups on Twitter to pause and take a break. At the same time I let my intentions be known that I would help in anyway. Immediately, Rik Rowe, one of the group leaders, invited me to lead a conversation.

Social media can be very easy because you have an opinion, you write and click away. That’s it! You’ve done your job. You shared, liked, tweeted or retweeted. Simple and easy. People of faith, people who strive to grow because they are called to grow, listen to that calling and take one step further. Yes, they take one step further even on social media. I did. I was not content with simply tweeting. I had to lead others because it had been done for me. Now it was my turn. And, I would be better for it.

I thought about all the times I tweeted about God, loving others, and service. Then I thought if that is true, really true, and if I truly believe God brought me here to this #ChristianEducators chat to learn more about myself and about others, then what am I doing for them? How am I serving them?  If service is good enough to receive, it must be good enough to offer.

Rik shared a Google doc and showed me how to lead a chat.  We spoke via Voxer, another great app used by many educators today. Rik was so detailed and explicit that it seemed effortless. He suggested I use Tweetdeck, a social media dashboard used to manage Twitter accounts. It allows you to view and send tweets and view profiles. The trickiest part was scheduling tweets ahead of time. I never knew one can do that. It was fun learning something new. At the same time, I grew nervous as the days drew close to my debut.

One thing I will always remember is how Rik stated that I should pray on the topic for discussion. He thanked me for agreeing to lead the chat and then let me be. After having read his email I went out for a bike ride. I prayed that day and listened. As I looked up, yes I do look up a lot when I ride, I recalled how many of the members of #ChristianEducators cited a famous verse from Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”  I said to myself, “That’s it! It will be based around this verse."

So, I typed up the questions and shared it with Rik. He was overjoyed and we worked out the details. I was encouraged. He was probably relieved that someone had stepped up to the plate to pinch hit smack in the middle of summer.

Minutes before the chat began I called Rik via Voxer. He gave me some final tips to moderate and told me to look at how everyone responds.

I felt overwhelmed, nervous, and happy at the same time. It was like that feeling of getting on a roller coaster for the very first time. I was strapped in and all I could do was sit back and enjoy the ride.

#ChristianEducators who joined that night were generous with their comments. They seemed to be supportive of one another and shared their love and peace of God. Some examples follow:

A1 Surrounded myself with God's natural creations and focused on Him! #ChristianEducators

— Brett Hoffman (@hoffmanteambret) August 5, 2016

A2 I'm always trying to see my burdens as blessings, for all is gift + God is great all the time #ChristianEducators pic.twitter.com/McwGRatsp7

— SJV Principal (@PrincipalSJV) August 5, 2016

A2: He encourages me through His whisper to keep fighting. #christianeducators

— Jenise Sexton (@MrsJeniseSexton) August 5, 2016

@abealarcon A2: I think when I see how much I have grown. He has really brought me a long way. #ChristianEducators

— Gena Cooley, M.Ed. (@theteachernme) August 5, 2016

A3: That's the problem w/my flesh, I don't STAY strong. However, @mikebickle taught me to "hit delete & sign back up." #ChristianEducators

— Jason Waltz (@edjawz) August 5, 2016

A4. Listen w/respect & not judge, look at the world through their eyes. Need to follow up better. #ChristianEducators

— Lynne Perednia (@Perednia) August 5, 2016

Finally, here are three things I learned after leading a chat on Twitter:

1. You can serve others via social media. 

2. People of faith will share and grow with you when the opportunity for fellowship is authentic, loving and rooted in God’s word. 

3. The Spirit of God, who is everywhere, is calling you to witness, support others, and be that light for others. Yes, even on social media.

Peace!

#ChristianEducators meet on Thursdays 9 pm ET. Join us!

My First Real Confession

In the mid 90's I was younger, slimmer and had more hair on my head. I was in grad school, working and living on my own. Like any single young man, I had my share of relationships and encounters. My family was always supportive and I had lots of close friends. I thought life was good. 

Yet, with so much going for me I was often upset, angry and frustrated with my life. Instead of addressing it in a responsible manner, I acted out. This involved self medication via binge drinking, overeating, casual sex, and lying. Whenever any one of my relationships questioned my behaviors, I chalked it up to me being immature. I used that excuse so much that I perfected it. I got away with so much. I knew I was immature but soon realized I was selfish and manipulative. It was a crazy cycle of deceit and games. 

One day, I woke up after a long and uneventful Saturday night of partying and I heard a voice tell me, "Go to church." 

Some people might call this experience delusional.  Others might say it was the Holy Spirit. It was more like walking into a dark room and turning on the lights. Your eyes hurt at first. They burn and you want to keep your eyes closed. Fortunately, I kept them open. 

Going to church as a kid was always a tedious event. I never had positive experiences. All I remember was a belt and a cheese danish. The former was used to get me from under the bed that I used to crawl under. I hated going to Sunday school. I wasn't allowed to ask questions, I had to sit still, and could never understand why there was a guy dying on a cross. 

The latter was my reward for attending class and mass (Roman Catholic word for church service). Near our church there was a bakery that had the best pastries.  As we walked by I always asked my mom for a cheese danish. She always gave in despite the hassle I gave her. 

This reward versus punishment experience of religion is like a seesaw. Up and down and up and down. That is not how we are meant to experience our faith. Who knew it would get better and that I had to go through so much before I could understand why. 

As I entered St. Nicholas Church  that Sunday afternoon in 1995, I noticed that the mass was over. The priest put the chalice away and brought out a vestment (priest wardrobe). He explained the many colors of the church and how during this time of Lent was one of prayer, fasting and giving alms. Next, he encouraged everyone to continue their Lenten sacrifice. He also said that it was never too late to participate. That was the game changer for me. Father Robert Cormier's words made me feel welcomed. Although I had missed most of the mass, it didn't matter. I had taken the first step and was on a new journey. 

Three weeks later I participated in a Via Crucis, or Way of the Cross Friday service. This was no ordinary service. There was a massive crowd in the streets in Jersey City Heights. Atop a truck stood Fr. Bob who stopped periodically and preached from a bullhorn. He explained the passion of Christ in simple but powerful terms. I felt called and wanted to know more. 

As the service ended in the school gym, Fr. Bob wished everyone a good night and made some quick announcements. One of these included hearing confession until the last person. The next thing I remember was sitting in a chair in front of Fr. Bob. 

Now, I must share that I don't remember my first confession. Probably because I was hiding under a bed. In fact, I never did it because as a family we never celebrated that sacrament. Kids model what they see adults do in their home. My parents never hid under a bed, but like many people, they avoided growing in their faith. I did too. 

So, when Fr. Bob greeted me I tapped into my schema and let out those famous lines of so many movies, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned." What else was I supposed to say?  I didn't know and most certainly didn't remember. Fr. Bob guided me and I started to share my anger and frustrations. I also included the choices I made and how I had hurt others. 

Although I do not recall the exact words  Fr. Bob said to me, I do know how he made me feel: Welcomed. Loved. Accepted. And that was it. He showed mercy and compassion. He showed me the love of God. 

I will always remember my real first confession. 

Rest in peace Fr. Bob.

Fr. Robert J. Cormier

1 December 1956 - 13 May 2014

Pedaling My Way Towards God

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to manage my time. As a husband who works full-time and is raising two boys, ages fourteen and three, with my wife in NYC, things can get hectic. Cooking, cleaning, commuting are simple but monotonous tasks that must get done. There is a never-ending to-do list: homework, laundry, playing with the kids, paying bills, and not to mention, spending quality time with my wife.  I am surprised at how we do it day after day, month after month, year after year. Amidst these daily activities, I struggle to find time to eat, sleep, rest, and most of all, pray.

I discovered that biking was a great way for me to lose some pounds, reflect and pedal my way towards God.  Last year, my spiritual director, a Jesuit, suggested I try the Jesuits in Britain’s Pray As You Go app.  I found myself listening to it every morning.  The introductory music provides a calming sense of invitation for prayer.  What’s more exciting is you never know what song or language you will hear next.  Everyday is a surprise.  The reflections are deep and offer many opportunities to get closer to God.

As praying with the app became part of my daily routine, I found that I wanted more prayer time so I started listening to it as I went out for long bike rides. The daily prayer is not long, usually 9-12 minutes.  However, what stays with me throughout the ride is a word, a Bible verse, or simply a feeling. A significant aspect of Ignatian spirituality is to stay where you are finding God.

As I ride throughout New York City, I am able to encounter God on many occasions.  The color of the sky and shapes that God presents seem to be created just for me.  Allowing my senses to be touched, caressed, and embraced by God provides me with certainty: I am loved.  Then, emotions consume me and tears begin to fill my eyes.  St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, was noted as having the gift of tears.  Is that a coincidence? No, it’s a gift from God.  I ask myself: How can God, who created all of this wonder and beauty, offer it to me?  Why does He continue to seek me out?  How can He love me?

I found myself wanting to go on bike rides more often not for exercise but to pray and to be with God. To be with God out in the open allows me to move, to feel, to reflect and to put it all out there. It also allows me to learn how God speaks to me.  

Sometimes I just pedal and pedal and pedal. In that constant motion I pass along the Hudson River, people, trees and the hustle and bustle of the city. That constant pedaling keeps me focused, centered on Him. I am moving towards something greater than me. I am pedaling towards something more.  All I have to do is look up and I see more. All I have to do is want more and He gives more. All I have to do is pedal more and I am more, with Him.