Spring is here but it these days still feel like winter. The change of weather brings a
great opportunity to reflect and find news ways to act. When the day is cold, windy and sometimes full of rain and snow, it can serve as a metaphor for my internal spiritual state.
There are times when I feel cold and still as an icicle, hanging aloft a tall tree branch. I want to be out of reach and out of the way of all the hustle and bustle, all the action that life brings - family, friends, work, wishes, dreams, and disappointments.
Yet, even though I may feel like I am hanging still way up on high on a tree, I am reminded that this is temporary. The Church season of Lent reminds and invites me to prepare and remember. I am called to prepare for an encounter with Jesus and walk with Him. I am called to remember what happened to Jesus and enter into that Paschal mystery as best as I can.
During this time of preparation, I may feel unsettled or uncertain. Doubts can increase as things go the way I do not plan. Frustration grows when challenges come my way like waves crashing upon a seashore. Yet, there are signs in my life that I can look to for assistance.
One:don’t downplay that you were chosen. There are many opportunities to help: smile, hold a door open, or simply listen. And these are the simple ones.
Two: Remember your role. As a husband, father, vice principal, and catechist, I wear many hats that grants me titles. These titles hold more responsibilities that I want sometimes but am grateful for every one of them. I know I am not alone and am needed. At the same time, I need those people in my life. What brings me peace is that in each of these roles I serve a calling, a vocation to love and serve.
Three: Don’t be discouraged when you are mocked. When you walk this journey of faith, people will make fun, innuendos, and outright challenge you. My first reaction is to argue, be sarcastic and even hurtful. Yet, I am humbled by the cross and reminded how Jesus fulfilled his role. Silence is a powerful choice.
While Springtime may not be in full swing, there are many signs of life all around. It will be here soon with much sun, flowers in full bloom, and green grass. Like the weather, my Lenten practice is not complete. Holy Week provides hope that even though many challenges lie ahead, the call to "new life" in Christ is coming and I am invited.
Twenty years ago, I did the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola as a Jesuit novice. The Spiritual Exercises are a compilation of meditations, prayers, and contemplative practices developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola to help people deepen their relationship with God. This past February, I decided to do a weekend retreat and return to The Jesuit Center at Wernersville, PA. The following is a description of what I learned on the retreat:
1. You cannot rush God.
God operates on his own time. For months I was excited and anxious to go on retreat. I had so many expectations. Yet, when I arrived I was overwhelmed with the work I had to do. I was tired and this feeling of getting on with it, getting over with it slowly grew into impatience.
Things were not going the way I planned and I grew frustrated with God. I wanted to control when, where and what would happen. Most of my prayer times were dry and distracted. No new and exciting revelations. It was during an Examen late on Saturday evening that God revealed that I was being selfish. I was being pushy and wanted things to happen on my time. Quickly I realized what was happening and felt remorse for my impatience. I wanted to rush God into doing things I wanted to.
2. God is full of surprises.
Yes, God is full of surprises and full of gifts. These gifts are referred to as graces, blessings bestowed upon us. It had been 20 years since I did the Spiritual Exercises (EE) and I felt a yearning, a longing for quiet time with God. Being alone with God was necessary and my wish to return to the place where I had completed the EE was finally happening.
3. Listen. God talks even in silence.
I walked, explored, and forced myself to listen. There were so many distractions but there were few moments of silence. I slept a lot and there were true moments of connection, bonding, communion between God and I. The stillness and quiet of the Jesuit Center provided me what I needed.
4. It is ok to be tired.
I am constantly moving. My brain and body need movement. Movement is life. However, the soul needs stillness so that God can move. Being in constant movement is not healthy. The body, mind and soul need stillness. During the retreat I experienced a struggle between movement and stillness. The friction between these two was exhausting and I grew even more tired. Realizing that you only have so much energy and need to rest is important. The weekend retreat helped me to see the importance of my energy, my tiredness, and how I can only do but so much.
5. Prayer is a gift.
Prayer is … probably one of the most difficult things to explain. It is automatic or non-voluntary like breathing. Then, it can be imaginative and free flowing like clouds on a windy day. Prayer can be difficult like driving in a blizzard of snow. It can be fun, exciting and fulfilling like a beautiful Spring day where one can smell the flowers and you can feel the warm sun on your face.
Prayer is like the weather: you can prepare for it and wear the appropriate clothing for it but it can change at any time. When you think it will rain, the clouds can part at any time and surprise you with sunshine.
Prayer is a gift.
6. God gives you what you need in a retreat for that retreat.
It may not be the same when you are home or at work. God’s graces vary from time to setting and location. Trust that what occurs at the retreat happens for you.
7. There will be distractions to keep you from getting close and deeper with God.
Keep at it. Stay focused and let God lead you. He brought you this far, he will take you where you need to go.
8. Trust yourself and stay with what works.
St. Ignatius provides many guidelines for the EE. Yet, he says that wherever you find God stay there. Sometimes God finds you just when you least expect it.
9. Appreciate your surroundings.
They are there to help you get closer to God.
10. Document as much as you can.
When you attend a special event you want to remember, you take out your phone and take pictures and video too. It’s almost automatic that you wish to document, capture the moment. People of faith on retreat do the same. I took pictures of things that brought me closer to God. When I am distant or need to remember, I go back to these pictures, words, or memories to connect with God again. To remember our time together.
Finally, I am grateful.
This year I turned 50 years old. While it is a milestone for many, to me it was a blessing. Spending a weekend on retreat fulfilled a deep desire I had for many years. My wife, family and work was put on hold for three days and I am grateful to them for their support and prayers.
I am also grateful for my spiritual director Claudio Burgaleta, SJ. who led me during the retreat. Although he could not be there physically, we were able to meet via FacetTme every morning. His guidance, suggestions, and accompaniment helped move me from a place of comfort to a place where I could grow.
When you become aware there is growth and when there is growth there is freedom. Amen.
It's just a number right? Depends on how you look at it. And that is what life is really about: how you look at it. Oh, and what you do with it.
Party? Almost everyday is a party ... fiesta. You just gotta make sure that you are the first and last one ... on the dance floor.
There are so many people looking at others dance. They say to themselves "I can't dance" or "I can't move like that" so they never step onto the dance floor. They never try, never take a step. Many clap or tap their feet while they sit down. To stay seated is safer and more comfortable. I've never been one to sit still especially when good dance music is playing.
I don't know what fifty (50) will bring but I know that I will bring everything to everyone and everything I got.
So what will be different? Nothing really. The only difference is that I will be the same person just one more year older.
There are 48 days until my birthday (February 12). So I have chosen 50 songs for my fiftieth. These are my favorite dance songs. When I listen to them, I remember dancing to these songs as a kid, a teen, a young adult and now older and getting close to 50.
These songs are significant because of the beat, where I heard them (at a party or club) and with whom I danced (friends and former loved ones).
I hope you enjoy looking through these 50 songs (videos) I compiled. They are not meant to be listened to but danced to. Make sure to play it loud and wear your dancing shoes.
50. You Should Be Dancing by The Bees Gees. No question about it. Get up and move!
49. I Feel Love by Donna Summer. I love dancing and definitely feel love and spread it with those around me when I dance.
48. Dance (Disco Heat) by Sylvester. When you have a funky, consistent beat like this one ... you can't resist and dance. You gotta "GET UP AND DANCE!
47. Lovin' is Really My Game by Brainstorm. What a classic tune. Every time I hear it I get up and move.
46. There But for The Grace of God by Machine. Exactly.
45. Love is the Message by MFSB. Always deep and close to my heart.
44. Voyage by Souvenirs. Lots of memories of parties and clubs. This song is a classic disco dance tune.
43. Keep On Dancing by Gary's Gang. When you feel like sitting down, this song reminds me what I were made for.
42. Get Down Tonight by KC & The Sunshine Band. You get up and dance to GET DOWN! Listen and you will know what I mean.
41. From Here To Eternity by Giorgio Moroder. You have to be a true disco lover and dancer to enjoy a track like this one.
40. A Little Bit of Jazz by Nick Straker. Hearing music like this tune really "shakes you through the stratosphere."
39. Blue Monday by New Order. "Tell me how does it feel?" When you dance this tune with lights and booming sound ... nothing like it anywhere.
38. Living on Video by Trans X. Big time video during the early 80's but I never cared. I just wanted to listen and dance.
37. Situation by Yaz. This sound is like no other.
36. My Forbidden Lover by Tapps. When I was in high school, this song dominated all the parties. Everyone got up and danced to this song.
35. Shake It Up by Divine. You can really shake it up when you dance this track.
34. L'amour Toujours by Telex. In the early 80's, this fast, hard synth sound was popular because it got you up and moving.
33. Set It Off by Strafe. I heard this track at a party in Queens, NYC and I will never forget the impact.
32. The Mexican by Jellybean Benitez. This track will always get me up and dancing until "Morning', sad mornin'" until it's time to go home. "Mexican!!"
31. Moody by ESG. After all these years of listening to this track, it never fails to deliver.
30. Cavern by Liquid Liquid. That bass is all you need to get you to move. "Something of a phenomenon!"
29. Can You Feel It by Mr. Fingers. Although not one of the first House Music tracks I heard, I love the sophistication and pressing percussion of this track. "House Music is a universal language understood and spoken by all."
28. I'll House You by The Jungle Brothers. A mix of hip hop and House. "Check this out!"
27. Move Your Body (House Music Anthem) by Marshall Jefferson. The classic House Music track that tells you what to do: MOVE YOUR BODY! Yeeeeeeesssss!
26. Can You Party by Royal House. Any song that starts with Malcom X saying "Too black!" and "To strong!" is gonna get you to move. "Can you feel it?" Absolutely!
25. Do It Properly by 2 Puerto Ricans, A Blackman and A Dominican. "There's so many ways to do it!" The build up is worth it!
24. You Used to Salsa by Rich Rich ft Ralphi Rosario. Classic House Music.
23. Sume Sigh Say by Todd Terry ft House of Gypsies. Listen to those drums! "Que lo que pasa aqui?" C'mon!
22. Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless) by Crystal Waters. Amazing! Will keep you dancing all night!
21. Love and Happiness (Yemeya y Ochun) by River Ocean ft. La India. House Music with traditional Caribbean rhythms. "All you gotta do ..." Wow!
20. Push The Feeling On by Nightcrawlers. A bumpin' track that reminds me of the NYC clubs of the 90's.
19. Robi-Rob's Boriqua Anthem by El General & C & C Music Factory. During the 90's, this track was played in every house party and wedding.
18. La Rebelion by Joe Arroyo. I had always heard Latin music in my home but never "danced" it, truly danced salsa until I danced this song.
17. Vivir Lo Nuestro by La India & Marc Anthony. Classic track. Love it!
16. Etnia by El Grupo Niche. Great dance track with a helpful reminder about race and prejudice in our society.
15. Medley (Barranquillero, La Guyaba, La Rebelion) by Raulin Rosendo. Three Colombian dance tracks sung by a Dominican salsero that filled the dance floor whenever played in the clubs. Seeing him live was something special. Dancing to these tracks back-to-back was even more special.
14. La Cura by Frankie Ruiz. No doubt about it when it comes to salsa, Frankie Ruiz was and will always be one of the best. If you got to see him live, it was a true musical experience. RIP.
13. Esta Cache by Oro Solido. This merengue will be one of my favorites in this genre. Great dance track!
12. La Candelosa by Los Hermanos Rosario. A solid merengue that anyone can dance to anytime you hear it. Amazing dance track. "Sensual!"
11. Bilongo by Eddie Palmieri. One of the greatest singing a classic tune of love and magic.
10. Azucar by Los Van Van. I can't describe what I feel when I dance this song.
9. Tahonero by Los Muñequitos de Matanza. A true dancer has roots and mine run straight to Cuba, Colombia, Ecuador, Brazil and Puerto Rico. Call and response. Drums. I am never more alive than when I dance this tune.
8. Magalenha by Sergio Mendes. I love samba and this is a great track to learn how to dance samba. Muite axe!
7. Fruta Fresca by Carlos Vives. When I married my wife Barbara, we picked this as one of our wedding songs.
6. El Pescador by Totó La Momposina. Dancing Cumbia makes me feel alive in so many ways. This song is special because it was the first Cumbia I ever danced to with a Colombian dance group. Just listen to the drums!
5. Matador by Los Fabulosos Cadillacs. Rock en Español was big in the 90's. This is my favorite song of this genre. Great tune!
4. Another Star by Stevie Wonder. Again, words cannot describe when I dance this song especially when I look at my wife as we dance together.
3. Moliendo Cafe by Africando. This re-make of an old Cuban song is still a favorite among salseros. You can't get enough when you dance this tune. Wait for the drop in the second part of the track. A dancer's dream.
2. Yay Boy by Africando. It doesn't matter if you can't understand the words, the music is universal and dancing it with my mother makes it magical.
1. I Want to Thank You by Alicia Myers. I can't thank God enough for the gift of life, music and dance. This song says so much.
At the beginning of a school year one can seem a bit tangled up and confused. New students, new schedules or even a new school can make one feel undone and uncertain.
Yet, my years in education have shown me how to meet these “tangled” situations head on and just keep it BASIC.
B - Believe in myself and in others.
I cannot do it ALL. Teaching and learning is never a “me, myself and I” project and I need to rely on others. When I work with others I am always better. Asking for help when you do not know something is a smart move. One might hesitate to ask for help to avoid the appearance of being seen as weak or vulnerable. There is a sincere strength in showing vulnerability.
A - Accept that I am not perfect and will make mistakes.
School business involves different levels of risk. Trial and error are always my favorite teachers. Knowing that I will make mistakes makes me feel less anxious. I give myself permission to not be perfect. There is a deep freedom in that acceptance.
S - Serve others no matter what.
If I see that someone needs something, I stop what I am doing and help. Putting people first over my own work brings many benefits. It communicates that they matter more and that I am here to serve.
I - Include others in the decision-making process.
When confronted with a task like scheduling, daily school operations or supervision of children and staff, it is wise to listen and consult others. Those who know more or have been around will provide valuable information and input.
C - Communicate consistently with everyone.
Nothing communicates professionalism better than clear and consistent communication. Even critics or “cranks” (they are everywhere in every industry) appreciate constant communication.
The beginning of the school year can be quite hectic for students, parents and educators. Sticking to the BASICs can help remind all of us why we do what we do.
How do you handle mixed feelings or "tangled" situations at the beginning of a school year?
“Mr. Alarcon, can you come to the security desk and cover me? Security was called to the music room.”
I heard this message over the radio and a sharp feeling came over me.
Now, I really had to do a lot of work but I stopped what I was doing and went to the security station in my school and told the security guard, “I’ll go.”
Before I reached the classroom, I dropped off a student who was sent to my office for a “break” and then headed to the music room. I guessed correctly who it was because no more than 30 minutes earlier I was called into that student’s classroom. Apparently, this boy was having a rough day.
When I entered the music room, books were on the floor and two chairs overturned. Thank Goodness no one was hurt. The boy was underneath the teacher’s desk. The music teacher and the rest of the class sat silently as they observed me interact with their classmate.
“Hi!”
No answer.
“How are you?”
No answer again.
“Please come out from under the desk. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
No response.
“I don’t want to hold you again. You don’t want me to do that, do you?”
Yep. This was not the first time I had been called to speak to him. And ... yes ... I had removed him from class several times.
This time he listened and came out from under the teacher's desk.
Then I complimented him for listening to me and told him he had to pick up the books and chairs.
“Come, I will help you with the books,” I said instantly.
As he started putting the books away I looked at the books again. I saw them differently. I saw him differently. Then, this feeling of purpose sunk inside me as if I was weighted down. I felt God. I guess I found him in that moment.
I was supposed to “be in it” with that student. I was supposed to help him put the books away and pick up the chair. I was supposed to spend time with him in his anxiety and stress; not add to it. Nor judge him for it.
Educators face many challenges today and one of them involves students with special needs. There are many classifications and conditions but one of the most perplexing ones include high functioning students who are easily distracted and defiant. Finding the right setting, supports and staff is critical for their success.
My interventions are not always as enlightening or purposeful but this time it took me deeper. I felt called to take a picture of the books and reflect upon what I do when called to “be” with a student in a challenging situation:
What do I say?
What do I do?
How much patience do I offer?
How much patience should I offer?
What can I do to help?
Am I supposed to have all the answers?
I don’t know how the student will do this year. He is capable and bright. Clearly, he is experiencing some challenges. My other concern is how his classmates are seeing things. How do they feel? I know many are supportive because they are friendly towards him and treat him well. Yet, they are patient and understanding with his struggles.
My final concern is about the adults. How do we stay positive when children are experiencing real challenges in a school setting? How do we promote peace, stability, consistency and high expectations with so much aggression and physical outbursts? I have so many questions, probably more than answers. Still, I hope like a little kid that there will be some sort of magic toy or candy that will make all those challenges go away.
Or, perhaps I am just too soft and kind. My heart is big and accepting. I entered education to serve others, not impart my will upon them or show others how much I know. So, if I display sensitivity and kindness to children who face serious challenges it’s probably because I may be one of the few people whom they know that is kind and accepting of them.
Education is all about relationships. Picking up the books and chairs on this day was just one more thing I did with this student. I am grateful for being granted a deeper awareness and purpose. That’s part of the calling: being with students no matter how positive or challenging the situation may be.
How do you spend time with your students?
How much do you offer?
What insights do you have about challenging student situations?
Today, it seems easier to blame, use curse words, and hate those who are different because of their race, culture, nationality, sexual orientation, religion, appearance, etc.
It is so much harder to show love and respect. Why? Because it forces you to hold yourself to a higher standard. To self-impose this higher standard does not show weakness but strength of moral character. It compels you to treat another person as your equal: with kindness, care and dignity. You do this not to give yourself accolades or credit for being a "good" human being, you do it because the other person is a human being. Period.
People like Jesus, Gandhi, MLK, Jr., Dorothy Day, Mother Teresa showed this "higher standard" of love not only in their words, but through their actions. Some paid the highest price with their lives. It compels me to think of family and friends who serve in the military, law enforcement, as first responders, in the medical field, and in education whom on a daily basis give of themselves without counting the cost. These people are "real" servants. They have answered the call and show it in their actions. If our country truly wants to be "great again," it would be wise for everyone to read MLK, Jr.'s "Drum Major Instinct" sermon. King Jr. states, "True greatness comes not by favoritism but by fitness." Later he continues ... "And so Jesus gave us a new norm of greatness. If you want to be important—wonderful. If you want to be recognized—wonderful. If you want to be great—wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. (Amen) That's a new definition of greatness." It seems like today in America we are being called to serve ourselves instead of others. All you have to do is listen to what is coming out of the White House or follow the current president's Twitter account. However, I know that we, as Americans, know better. Today, I am blessed to be born in this country and am always thankful for my immigrant family who came to the United States for a better life and to contribute to this society. I am even more inspired to fight against hatred, bigotry, and racism that people, including the President of the United States, show towards many people whom I call my:
family
friends
neighbors
parishioners
students
parents
co-workers
parish priests
fellow human beings
America IS great. It is "great" when it serves and when it struggles. It's even greater when it grows from these struggles. That's what I see going on today: a struggle to grow in the right direction. That process of seeking/finding/getting towards the right direction is messy (and even violent at times) BUT it has to include our principles, our foundation, and on a tradition of and constant fight for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness ... and justice for all.
We may not agree. That's o.k. but we do need to be civil and respectful.
Finally, on this MLK, Jr. holiday, show your greatness: serve others, especially those who cannot repay you.
You might surprise yourself at what you find.
By the way, service is constant and not just one day. You can honor King's dream by making service a part of your life and who you are.
When I was a kid I, remember summer vacations at Wildwood, NJ. Just the name of the beach town made it seem adventurous. The boardwalk and delicious goodies also made the time “down the Jersey shore” a memorable one.
I didn't know how to swim back in the mid 70’s. I was too little and afraid of the waves. One thing my big brother Dave taught me was to hold my nose and crouch down so the waves would not knock me down. It was soooo much fun and nerve-racking. But, I was only able to walk into the water waist high.
It was a lot of fun going underneath the waves and then jumping out of the water. I could feel the force and power of the waves as it swept my long hair. Sometimes I didn’t crouch low enough and the waves would tumble me over. Still, I would jump up to catch my breath. But then a new wave would come. After a while of the same, I would tire and have to get out.
My brother didn't share in the ducking-underneath-the-waves activities. He always swam out far and deep. He'd dive straight into the waves and swim way out away from us.
Thinking of the beach and waves reminds me how deep we go as educators.
How much do we really experience our school? Our students? Our colleagues? Our parents? And the surrounding community? Going deep is the only way.
I see my school as going to the beach. My office is where I lay down my beach towel and things. As soon as I step out of the main office (comfort zone), my feet are in the water.
If I want to avoid the waves and crouch down, I walk around the building, say hello from outside the classrooms, and show my face during lunchtime or in the playground. I may even “pop in” a meeting or two, sit and ask one question to seem interested. This is playing it safe and being compliant.
If I want to emulate my brother and dive right into the waves and into the ocean, deep and far, I would:
-bring a change of clothes and play with my students during recess
-serve as a substitute while a teacher has a parent or school meeting
- monitor a table during lunch time
- plan a lesson and teach it
-listen to children when they speak, especially when they are in trouble or troubled by someone or something
- walk into every classroom at least once a day, everyday
-make “good calls” home
- check in with my struggling students (academic, behavior, etc.) everyday
-call the state foster parent agency on behalf of a student so s/he can receive much needed therapy
- answer phones for the secretary and cover her duty when she goes to lunch
-attend a parent teacher organization meeting
-ask tough questions of myself and my staff (what can we do better? What are we not doing? How can we improve?)
- serve as a bus assistant and do the route without expecting anything in return
- clean up a spill in the hallway or bathroom instead of calling the janitor
- write a letter for a parent/guardian so they can avoid being deported
-smile more
I can go on and on and on.
Our family vacations at Wildwood were truly memorable and will always be engraved in my heart and mind. I still remember the infamous waffle and ice cream sandwiches. It was my favorite treat after a long day at the shore.
If I want to make my school memorable for my students and staff (myself included), I know I have to go deep and not stay in my comfort zone.
Yes, I know going to the beach should be relaxing and not everyone goes to the beach to do the same things. But then again, not everyone is called to be an educator and this “calling” involves taking risks and “going deep.”
Go deep.
You might surprise yourself what you find beyond the crashing waves.
How do you “go deep” as an educator?
What risks do you take?
What have you discovered about yourself and those you serve?
